Wisdom Gained from 2007 Failures

It's not every day that someone willingly admits their failures. Better yet, it's even more rare when they are so humble as to find the positive gems from those failures and grow from them. Sharing them with the world... that tops the cake!

When I went to read Mridu Khullar's blog and realized that she'd highlighted a couple of her failures from 2007, adding lessons learned from each one, I was in awe. I greatly admire her as a fellow writer to begin with. I admire her even more for the humility she wears proudly.

At the end of her post, she asked, "Anyone else want to share their failures?" I've decided I will blog about a few of the mistakes I made this year and as I search my heart for the good in each one, I'm going to let the world know the lessons I've learned and how I plan on applying this new wisdom to my life in 2008.


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Situation One: I don't want to get into specific details, but I was voted into a leadership position to start in January, 2007. I was told that I was the perfect choice, that I was young, inspiring, and would be just the motivation this group needed to go far. Although I really enjoyed my role, it was a disaster. I discovered quickly that I'd never please some members, who wanted me gone. The adversity became too great to deal with and was leading to my burnout, a huge step back for my health, and loss of sleep. I decided NOT to fight, and I respectfully stepped down and left the environment for good.

Finding the Silver Lining:

1. The beauty of stepping down freed up my time and has allowed me to be more successful in all areas of my life.
   
2. I've been able to write, sell, and learn far more this year than I would have had time for if I had remained in that stressful position.
3. Although I can't please everyone, I don't have to lose sleep worrying about it. There is someone, somewhere, who will appreciate me--and what I can offer--in terms of inspiration, motivation, advice, and friendship.
4. A LOT more sleep!
5. This blog evolved shortly after this "situation."
6. I do have the skills to lead, but I don't have to use them to help ungrateful people in stressful surroundings. I can apply my skills not only to benefit my writing and to help me reach my goals, but to help my readers reach theirs.
   

My Lesson: Don't take on too much responsibility too soon. Never let anyone coax you into a situation you're unsure of in your gut. Accept the things you cannot change and move forward, regardless of how bad it hurts. Sometimes moving on is the blessing, and the lesson.


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Situation Two: As I scrambled this year to sell my words to various publications, I made a vital mistake: I didn't focus on the whole picture. Instead, I sent out tons of queries and submissions--in haste. Of course, this led to a lot of rejection letters via snail mail and email. :'(
I didn't receive rejections because I didn't have good ideas, and according to the editors' feedback, it wasn't because I'm not talented. It was because I didn't take my time and focus. My ideas and thoughts were scattered. I've heard a few times from editors themselves that I'm trying to cram too much information into one piece, or that it's not pulled together and focused enough.


Finding the Silver Lining:

1. I discovered I'm more persistent and dedicated than I imagined I could be.
2. I received critiques from editors. Why is this good? Because they took the time out of their crazy busy day to point me in the right direction. I've heard when editors do this, it's because they see potential in you and that's why they stop what they're doing to say, "Instead of doing this, this, and this, do that, that, and that." I'm honored and overjoyed to be able to say I received several critiques from editors this year. Now, I know where my focus will be in 2008. And I know I'll have more success!
3. I wrote more. And I found that I actually had two or three stories within the body of one. Once I separated and polished them, I actually sold some of them.
4. I realized that writing is my greatest passion. Not that I never knew it before, but I had a light bulb moment--the "a ha" that I could do this for the rest of my life and still crave more books, more articles, and more knowledge so I can write, write, write--including my book(s).
   

My Lesson: To slow down, focus, and choose quality over quantity.

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Situation Three: I started this blog. In the beginning, I thought I'd focus mainly on sharing markets, books, and links to resources for writers. I've done a lot of that, but this blog quickly fell into a source of encouragement, inspiration, and a friendly "rest area" stop as you travel the cyber highway. I'm pleased with that, don't get me wrong. But somewhere along the way, I trailed off course. I added too many ads and cluttered it up 'till it looked like a flea market. I even lost a few readers because it took so long for my blog to load (which I'd been unaware of). And not all of my posts were as quality as I'd have liked them to be. I got lazy, I guess...

Finding the Silver Lining:

1. I went from not knowing what a blog was to being a blogger. That, I'm proud of!
   
2. I've made so many cyber friends via this blog--friends I cherish!
3. Writing some of these blog posts actually inspired articles--that sold!
4. I've learned "a little" html.
5. I pointed my readers to markets they could submit their essays/articles to.
6. According to the comments, I've managed to encourage and inspire my readers. That makes me smile and warms my heart.
   

My Lesson: I realized this blog isn't the best blog on the web but I also realized I don't need it to be. I learned what NOT to do (like bogging down my blog with a gazillion ads!). And I learned what I want to do better in the new year.

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The most important thing to me is the friendly community environment that is transpiring here. I want to give a special, sincere thanks to all my loyal readers who have kept coming back, commenting, and encouraged me to keeping writing the cyber highway!

I will do my best to continue to sharing markets you can sell your words to, writing books I love, and links to great resources that will enhance your writing in some way.

And... I'll definitely remember to share my heart, writing the cyber highway!

So, as Mridu asked: Anyone else want to share their failures?

Have you failed and learned from events that transpired in 2007? Can you find the silver lining--the good that came from it as Mridu did? Do you know how you'll take the wisdom you gained from your failures and apply it to your life in 2008?

Reflecting on 2007, Thoughts for 2008

Well, I've celebrated a blessed holiday with my family and I hope each of you did the same. I've missed posting here the past few days, but have enjoyed the extra time to spend with those I love most. I also conversed with a few editors, worked on a manuscript or two, and received a gift from someone I admire greatly (I'll probably be sharing more about this gift in upcoming posts!).

But Christmas is over and with that comes the end of another year. Several blogs are quiet with messages saying they'll be back next year. Other bloggers like Rebecca Laffar-Smith, of The Writer's Round-About, urged us via her Christmas Eve post to Make Time To Write This Holiday. Her advice is awesome:

"There are so many wonderful elements of the holidays that should be captured on paper. It might not lead to a story or an article. But the compost of information you gather at this time of year will enrich your writing for years to come."


Melissa Donovan, of Writing FORWARD, who never missed a day of posts even though it was the holidays, recently reflected on 2007: Freelance Writers' Year in Review. It's nice to look back at what we've accomplished or what we'll do differently in the new year, isn't it? However, Melissa said it best:

"Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself

In the end, the annual review should be a priceless learning experience. After all, who wants to make the same mistakes next year? Don’t torture yourself over bad decisions or poor judgment. What’s done is done, so move forward knowing that you are one year wiser."

Looking back, looking forward, as my freelance writer friend, Renie Burghardt, suggests pretty much sums up my thoughts these last few days of 2007. She says: "Christmas 2007 was merry and bright and blessed with family and good friends... Christmas 2007 is over, and now I'm looking forward to 2008."

Aren't we all?! I have huge plans for the new year :-)

Meandering along I soaked up the latest post of Joanna Young, the Confident Writing coach, who delves into the 7 searching questions to ask your blog. In Joanna's words: "But there's an important learning benefit too as we look back at what we've written in 2007 - the chance to learn from our own words, thoughts and ideas."

Susan Johnston, at The Urban Muse, said:
"I get overwhelmed by long, multi-pronged resolutions, so next year I vow to...

Focus on the big picture.

Of course, what this really means is “don’t sweat the small stuff,” but I’d rather frame it in a more positive light, to concentrate on something actionable, rather than feeling guilty for being the detail-crazy person that I am."

Find out what "the big picture" is in her post: My Writing Resolution for 2008.


You'll learn something important from Katharine Swan, at Swan's Blog, as she tells us How to spot a micromanaging client. Make a note to follow this advice, especially if you're just getting started. It will make for a smoother, happier 2008.

Katharine's advice on this matter: "The beauty of being a freelancer is that you don't have to put up with micromanaging clients. If you feel a client is being unreasonable, finish out your contract and refuse further work as professionally as possible."

I've also reminisced about my journey of Writing the Cyber Highway this year, and pondered over the creation of this blog as well as where we will go in 2008. I'm already trying to decide if we'll move to WordPress or stay here. I'd love for this blog to grow either way. My main goal is to be an inspiration and encouragement to other writers, and to create a friendly community environment each of you will want to return to time and again.

There will be more requests for feedback in the new year so I can make Writing the Cyber Highway the best I possibly can. I'm not a technical genius (shh! don't tell anyone!) but I try :-)

I can't sign off without also giving a little link love to Jeanne Dininni, over at Writer's Notes. She discusses Inner Resources for Writing Success in 2008 and Beyond. You'll love how she shares her list of "inner resources" and then defines each one separately! After revealing the list, Jeanne says: "These are the inner resources that I believe would help me reach my writing goals in 2008 and beyond—resources that I believe would be just as beneficial to any writer."


Have you been reviewing this past year and maybe noticing things you could have done differently in your writing, submitting, queries, and/or blogging? If so, feel free to share in the comments or even write your own post. Just be sure to come back and leave a link!


I wish you much success while writing the cyber highway--in 2008, and always!

Merry Christmas from Writing the Cyber Highway!

Mary, at Mary's Writing Nook tagged me for the 12 Christmas Things About Me Hoopla meme. I didn't get to it last weekend like I thought I would so here it is, just in time for Christmas!

And they are:


1. I've never spent Christmas away from my family--not even once. I believe life is family and family is life, especially during the holidays! I'm very blessed to have a supportive, loving family and I wouldn't trade them for the world. And... I'd never make it without my Mother's old-fashioned cornbread dressing :-)

2. When I was a child, All I Want for Christmas Are My Two Front Teeth and O Christmas Tree were my favorite (non-religious) Christmas carols and Away in a Manger and Silent Night were my favorite (religious) Christmas songs. And... I sang them a lot!

3. We always went to church to see the Christmas play and then we visited in the auxiliary building afterward. Lots of homemade goodness filled the counters and tables. I remember the laughter and joy displayed across the faces of the church members. These are wonderful memories!

4. My Mom and Dad not only worked hard decorating our home and lawn for the holidays, but they always helped my Grandma with her decorating, too. From Christmas lights strewn all over the house and fence to the big, beautiful trees complete with icicles, there was so much Christmas spirit lighting up our homes. This is another of the many lessons my parents gave me in "going the extra mile."

5. Grandma lived next door to us, so it was only a hop, skip, and jump to her house. Mom and I would go over and the three of us would bake. I'd always help with smaller jobs. Grandma would always make her banana cream and pecan pies. Mom baked carrot cake and made banana pudding. All these delicious treats were made from scratch, with lots of love. The aroma was divine!

6. Every year instead of ham or turkey like other households were preparing, my Grandma insisted on chicken salad sandwiches instead. Yes, that's right. She'd pull out the ole grinder and Mom would help her fasten it to an old oak chair. She'd ask me to chop the celery and onions while she pulled the chicken from the bone. Lettuce was chopped, too. All this went through the grinder, turned manually. Once everything was ground together Grandma would add salt, pepper, and mayonnaise to taste and then it went on fresh white bread. Delish! Of course, I'm vegetarian now and Grandma passed away a few years ago, so Christmases just aren't quite the same.

7. I've never liked eggnog and I guess I never will. It just looks, sounds, and is so yuck to me!

8. When I was younger, I lived in a neighborhood full of elderly people. So, I was pretty much like their granddaughter. These little ladies would make special Christmas baskets for me with cookies they'd baked themselves, hard, old-fashioned candies, candy canes, and sometimes little breads/muffins. I'll never forget this and I guess it's why as an adult I now find myself baking bread and cookies and delivering Christmas baskets--especially to the elderly, who a lot of times are homebound.

9. Each year my family piles into a vehicle and drives around looking at Christmas lights. It's one of our traditions and my Mother says we're always going to go "light looking" each year. Usually, we sing Christmas carols, nibble on snacks, talk, laugh, and admire all the beautifully decorated homes. It's a great time!

10. Rudolph has always been my favorite Christmas character--other than Santa, of course! I love singing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and watching the annual cartoon :-)

11. Christmas is about giving, so my family has always given in one way or another. From donating groceries to needy families to helping someone pay their utility bill, we try to give gifts that are meaningful.

12. The most important thing about Christmas to me is that this is the day to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, so long ago. I love the thought that my Savior was born and I love taking time to honor that special day.

I hope you've enjoyed these 12 Christmas things about me. My prayer is that you'll have a warm, healthy, happy, and blessed Christmas!

I know you're all busy preparing for your own holiday traditions, so I won't tag anyone. If you want to jump in and participate in this meme, feel free to. Leave the link to yours in the comments if you do. Otherwise, Merry Christmas from Michele, at Writing the Cyber Highway!


Bonus Thoughts:
Remember how simple Christmas used to be? The Sunday School teacher would ask what we'd most like to have and answers varied from: world peace, food for hungry children, or to give clothes and blankets to those without a home and maybe that awesome toy at the top of our wish list. But now that we're grown, we'll first answer: a laptop, iPod, PDA, or some other tech gadget. The hungry, cold, and homeless folks--those trapped in the war zone-- many times fall to the bottoms of our lists, fade into the cobwebs of our mind... Isn't it something how time changes things and makes us forget what's most important?

Clichés: A - Z

Do you have a terrible time with clichés? I do. I don't even realize I'm using them but they sneak up in my writing all the time. Maybe it's because I really love all the old sayings--like phrases my grandma always said--such as: what goes around comes around, as honest as the day is long, what you see is what you get, or work your fingers to the bone.

I thought since so many of these expressions are stuck in my head, they might be stuck in yours, too. Sure, these words bring back nostalgic memories. Nostalgia may not be the word that pops into the editor's mind, though, when they see your pages filled with them. They could be annoyed and think it takes away from your story.

Writing mentors of mine have told me, "Michele, you've written a wonderful story, and I really love it, BUT... it's filled with too many clichés. Take those out before you submit it anywhere." I'm glad I had someone with a fresh, seasoned eye to let me know!

This topic has been on my mind for a while now, so I decided to address it in this post. When I Googled the word cliché, I discovered what Wikepedia had to say about it:


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A cliché (from French, klɪ'ʃe) is a phrase, expression, or idea that has been overused to the point of losing its intended force or novelty, especially when at some time it was considered distinctively forceful or novel. The term is generally used in a negative context.
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I can't tell you how hard it has been to break myself from including so many of these "overused words" in my written work. I won't even mention how many times I say them out loud. Have I bypassed turning into my mother altogether and morphed into grandma status? Okay, we won't go there.

In those "cliché" Google results a most interesting site surfaced: ClichéSite.com. I love it! I noticed right away that phrases are listed starting with the letter a and continuing all the way to the letter z. You can literally find cliche's from A to Z, including from which country they originated. It's amazing... You'll definitely be busy for quite some time. Wait. There's more. Cliché of the Day provides a new overused term each day!

Cliché Finder is another source. There are over 3,000 of them filed here. Still not happy? Site owner, S. Morgan Friedman, even lists Other Cliché Links to further satisfy your thirst.

I hope these links help you keep clichés out of your content, while writing the cyber highway!

UPDATE:
Rebecca Laffar-Smith brought up an excellent point in her comment. She suggested that the Cliché of the Day would probably do more harm than good by implanting these pesky little phrases deep into our heads only to flow through our fingers and onto the keyboard--exactly what we're trying to avoid. She shared her opinion: "Perhaps we need to tred with caution and become more conscious of the cliche terms we use." Right! Thanks for your thoughts, Rebecca! Exactly what I was trying to say, only you said it better :-)

Stumble Cliche: A - Z!