Sunday, September 23, 2007

7 Ways to Send Fellow Bloggers Speeding Off Down the Cyber Highway, Never to Return!!!

Wow, this is a first for me! I've been tagged by Misti Sandefur , over at Life of a Writer to write a post sharing 7 blogging tips on how to make your readers cringe and not want to come back, so here goes...

Here Are 7 Ways to Send Fellow Bloggers Speeding Off Down the Cyber Highway, Never to Return:

1. Include links that go nowhere (am I the only person driven bonkers by this mistake?). After all, who wants to be reading and come across an interesting link, only to click and be taken to a cyber nowhere zone. "Error!" (And if I do this--SOWWY!)

2. Boast rudeness. Never follow fellow bloggers' comments over to their own blogs. Never show courtesy by just leaving your little cyber stamp and saying hi and NEVER leave a few kind words relevant to their post (just to show you're sweet and caring ;-) Wouldn't want to do that! After all, you're making your readers cringe and not want to come back--Ever! (My traffic is increasing tremendously by visiting fellow bloggers' blogs and leaving a kind comment).

3. Make your blog feel like a cold waiting room--no warm/cheerful colors, no pictures to admire,just a non-friendly atmosphere.

4. Be B-O-R-I-N-G! Write blandly. Don't act like yourself. Don't let your colorful personality make a peep! In other words, act like a wilted leaf-limp and lifeless to all cyber neighbors!

5. Write like a child. Don't use proper sentences, forget about spelling and grammar, don't even try to capitalize or anything of the such. Just be lazy and sloppy and have an "I don't care" attitude.

6. Make your readers have to "break in" to leave a comment. I'll admit, I'm guilty. I did enable that little feature that makes you try a few times reading those fuzzy little letters before you can leave your comment. By then, your readers won't care anymore and they'll just leave frustrated. Don't worry, they won't be back to bother you anymore! (By the way, I disabled that comment feature).

7. Whew, I didn't think I'd make it to 7 (smile). Be obnoxious. Just act like you are the greatest blogger, the best at everything, you don't have time for comments or polishing your post into something interesting to show your readers you want them to have something awesome to read each time they come to visit you. Just abhor your readers' very existence--that should do it! You'll have zero readers, zero comments, and zero cyber neighbors. Oh yeah, that's what you wanted!

So there, take these 7 Tips and Send Fellow Bloggers Speeding Off Down the Cyber Highway, Never to Return!!!!

It's been fun (thanks Misti!), but now it's your turn. I tag:

Amy Derby at Write-from-home.

Rebecca Laffar-Smith at The Writer's Round-About.

Becca at Moving Write Along.

Anyone else like to join in? Hop on board!

If I make horrid blogging mistakes, I'll humbly take the criticism and try to improve :-)

Hopefully, these tips will help you think twice before you make blogging mistakes and allow you to successfully keep blogging the cyber highway!